I can’t seem to see the difference in the new year, except that it ends with a 2 now. New Year’s Eve was pretty much an ordinary day, and we were so happy to have George sleep through all the midnight raucousness (apparently we were the only ones in Germany who were not permanently damaging our eardrums with popping fireworks).
But for some reason, I am yet to feel the excitement of the new beginning. It’s not the “new year blues”, it’s more of a “weight of the world on my shoulders” that coincides with the start of a new year. I am tired, which does not help with the mood boosting attempts, I can’t hear any more bad news, almost everything else I hear or watch gets on my nerves, from a FB pregnancy announcement made in the Mastercard priceless ad spirit (tacky) to news about my favourite brilliant saabotaged auto brand (take a guess), and documentaries about lakes in Africa that are in danger of disappearing and the conquences of that (for Christ’s sake, not even nature documentaries are safe to watch anymore!), I am fed up with clichés spouted like a parrot by people who have not so much to complain about (cough*MIL*cough)… I want to take all children who suffer and bring them inside, feed them hearty meals, give them treats, play with them and tuck them in warm beds, keep them away from idiots and punch the lights out/poke out the eyes and manually castrate all those who abuse them. I am tired of feeling tears in my eyes and having my throat constrict whenever I hear anything related to children who are just not doing fine. No need to tell me it’s stupid, I know, I can’t possible eradicate suffering form the world, it is part of the bigger picture, duality of life, good/bad, shit, I don’t care, I just want to go back to bubble where I lived in till now. Perhaps it IS hormones, most probably actually, but I have to get out of this weird funk.
Being tired also brings along feeling out of sorts. And I can’t get back to syncronizing my sleep with George’s. Rather frustrating. But George’s mood is synchronized with mine, and he has been whinging, and was more clingy and fussy than usual. What can I tell you, we are a joy to be with these days.
I know it will pass. But until it does, I have to control the urge to bang my head against walls. And to let it out on George and hubs, because they really have nothing to do with it, and they deserve much better. It would help if I just could crawl under a rock for a couple of days. But this ain’t going to happen, so off to find alternative solutions.
2011 was a good year for me. Hopefully, 2012 is going to be even better. And the good part of all this stupid funk is that it does make me realise that my life IS good. The best, actually. And it’s not that I am being ungratefull or unhappy, it’s just a low time, because you can’t be up all the time.
George is doing his robot walk trying to catch a cat tail, which, predictably, is always 1 cm out of reach. Now, that helps lifting my spirits. Goofy child! 
The truth is I am not a big fan of New Year’s Eve either. We did go out this time, but that has happened after number of years. Last Year (as in 2010) hubby and I stayed at home, and watched a great movie – Zwartboek. I don’t have world-changing vision either…
I hear you on what you say about children being mistreated or left out in the cold and there are just too many of them here.
George seems delightful!
Take Care….have a great 2012!
I remember those hormones – I hated that. Usually I am pretty immune to the world’s suffering – I do what I can, but I can’t take the rest to heart. But add pregnancy hormones….that was awful. A couple days to yourself would probably help, but it’s hard when people depend on you. George seems like a ray of sunshine, though.
Happy 2012 – hope it’s even better than 2011 was for you!
We did nothing exceptional on NYE either–stayed in, ate ice cream, watched a movie, which kind of describes every weekend night, to be honest.
I don’t think any of us mistake your sharing your frustrations or exhaustion for being ungrateful. Don’t waste worry on that, friend. Exhaustion is so mind-numbing and really effs with your perspective, and I totally empathize with that. I feel like I am the most impatient, unkind, cynical incarnation of myself when I have had no quality rest.
Hoping you feel better soon! Happy new year!
Bah, I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling low. I hope that George helps you feel better on a regular basis. You’ll get through it! And I understand about wanting to protect all kids. I had a hard time with that when I was teaching in the inner city. I had multiple kids every year that I wanted to adopt and take home with me. It would be fantastic to be able to take all of the pain and hurt away from them.
Leave it to our children to bring out a smile. Maybe winter is getting the best of you? Take some Vitamin D, if you can
helps with the sunlight deficiency. HUgs.
I’ve learned to accept my new year’s eve will never be quite as exciting as I believe they should be, I actually no longer believe they should be anything but being in the same room as the hubby and the kiddo asleep downt he hall. That’s as good as it gets
I’m sorry you’re feeling low, I hope that things get better soon, and as Genevieive says, Vitamin D does wonders for low moods especially in the winter months, I used codliver oil.